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	What is Aggression ? The fifth male element, Aggression (I'll show you who's boss) is also a natural outcome of the conflict of masculine insecurity. As any marital therapist knows, one of the most common presenting marital problems is the dynamic of the angry, critical, or explosive husband with the wounded, tearful, and defeated wife. In this dynamic, the man's aggression serves to (1) intimidate the "opponent" and catch her off guard, (2) violate her psychic, if not physical, space in order to penetrate and occupy it, and (3) create a wall of bitterness which will psychologically separate him from her. In all three tactics we can clearly see traces of man's fear of losing himself in a woman, a powerful fear which is also an equally powerful wish. As I have said, this conflict, between the wish to be (with) a woman and the fear of losing one's masculine identity is at the heart of the conflict of masculine insecurity. As with masculine insecurity, the key to coping with male aggression is balance. We must respect emphatic if insensitive male assertion and respond in kind, but reject sadistic, though remorseful, male destructiveness. How to tell the difference between the two is a problem for many women. Some are so used to aggression that they collude with each sequence of abuse-remorse-good behavior-abuse-remorse-good behavior as if it's not going to happen more than twice. Others are so fearful of any sign of male aggression that they cannot see the strength and protection it may one day offer them. How can I learn more about Aggression? Get the book and read about The Penetrator, The Survivalist, Man-to-Man Conflict, The Abusive Boss Syndrome, The Don Juan Syndrome and other cases or issues. And learn how to deal with men's anger and hostility. It's all in the sixth chapter of the book.